It Is All a Story...Including This (Step 1)

I've mentioned before in other posts that all that is ever really experienced is thinking and sensation. No matter what it looks like, everything that we are ever experiencing is thought and sensation. The combination of these two elements is what we sometimes refer to as emotion (with sincere thanks to zen teacher Joko Beck for pointing this out to me). All else is a story. The story is our interpretation of any particular configuration of thought and sensation.

Most of the time, we get into trouble because of the story we tell ourselves about the thought-sensation arising in any particular moment. As an example, let's say a car cuts in front of us in traffic. The body (probably) immediately tenses in reaction to a perceived threat to its safety - a natural reaction preparing the body to respond further, if necessary, to safeguard the organism. We can see this same reaction throughout the world of living things. No problem here.

Then, almost as automatically as the physical reaction occurred, the thinking apparatus drapes a net of interrelated thoughts over the sensations. These thoughts are The Story. They attempt to explain the experience (sensations) in some way. The net of thought that drapes over the experience-sensation varies from person to person depending upon a nearly infinite number of variables. Is there a problem here? Not really. 

The "problem" is created by BELIEVING the Thought-Story - "that guy is a jerk and doesn't care about anybody on this road but himself!." That is, we assume our Thought-Story is true - we assume it is "the way things are." The believed Thought-Story creates more physical sensation (usually tension, clenching) which we then assume confirms our original Thought-Story - "See! He really is a mindless cretin in a Pinto!" We then drape even more thoughts over those sensations and...you get the picture. The more blaming or critical or fearful the Thought-Story, the more intense the sensations.

There are a few things going on here that we will investigate over the next few posts. First, there is the awareness of sensation and thinking.  Then, there is a recognition of the believed Thought-Story. Third, there can be a recognition that what SEES all of this - sensation, thought, Thought-Story - is not itself sensation, thought, or Thought-Story. Finally, at the heart of it all, is the realization that the body and the very idea of a "me" who is experiencing all of this is itself composed of thought,sensation, and Thought-Story. This realization dissolves it all.

However, it can be useful for some of us to be a bit more methodical about uncovering all of this. Let's begin by simply NOTICING physical sensations as we go through daily life. We can do this especially when we find ourselves upset in some way - what we typically label as sad, lonely, irritable, angry, worried, afraid, confused, troubled, etc. As you begin to play with this, notice how thought is always attached to these states. Don't worry about investigating the thinking. It is enough for now to know that it's there. 

Instead, come back to the raw physical sensation (buzzing, tingling, heat, cool, pressure, tension, hardness, softness, etc.) and stay with it. What do I mean by "stay with it"? Let your attention rest easily on the sensation for a while - maybe a minute or so. Give the sensation ROOM. Give it SPACE. It is already there so, as best you can, leave it alone and watch what happens (hint: it will change).

Let's leave it there for now. Next post (probably), we'll talk more about The Story. If you resonate with this methodical approach, STOP READING NOW!




For those of you who really hate a methodical approach, when you feel the sensations, ask, "What is aware of this (tingling, burning, itching, pressure, etc.)?" or "What is seeing this now?" But, don't leave the sensation to investigate some thought that comes up in response to the question - that keeps us caught in the same trap. The answer is not a thought. 




(By the way, I am not trying to be tricky or coy when I say "the answer is not a thought." I am not trying to make you "work at it." The deal is that the answer really is NOT a thought. The only thing another thought can do is point to "it" or attempt to describe "it" - but the description is not "it," and "it" is not an "it" anyway! [this is the point at which, when I used to read this stuff, I wanted to throw my computer out the window and/or strangle the writer...*gulp*])




I'll bet you wish you hadn't read on :-)




More to come.

What You Really Are Can Never Be Found By Anyone

Everything we see/hear/touch/taste/smell/think is an object, an object of consciousness.

These objects include everything from a 50 ton whale to an atom viewed through an electron microscope. And the one we typically think of as "me" is also an object of consciousness.

What You really are contains what you think you are.

Do nothing except notice whatever sensations register on the screen of the senses right now. Notice the thought, "I am witnessing all of the sensations registering on the screen of the senses right now." Good. Now, what notices that thought?

Any answer you give is yet another thought. What notices that?

There is nothing tricky here. Just rest as what you already are; there really is no choice anyway. All the thoughts that swirl around and say "it can't be that easy" or "there must be a practice" or "but nothing happens" are simply more of the same. Another object arising in and as what You are.

You are the silence in the center of it all. You are already that. Everyone is already that. There really is only one of us here.

Rest, little mind. Everything is already OK. And, the flowers need weeded.

Keep Driving

I was driving in the country the other day and it came to me that the drive was very much like the journey of the search. At first, it is clear that I am driving. I feel distinct, definite, separate. There is clearly a "me" doing the driving. I look around and see the car in which I'm driving as well as the trees, people, buildings, other cars, road, weeds, signs, clouds, dust, bugs - all of the objects - that I am driving past.

At some point, the space in which all of these objects are appearing becomes evident. Then there is me seeing all of the objects as well as the space in which they appear. I seem real. The objects seem real. The space in which the objects appear seems real.

A little further down the road, I become aware of thoughts and sensations as objects arising within my body. I see those objects in me as well as all of the other objects and space outside of me. They all seem real.

Rounding a curve in the road, I become aware of a kind of space in me in which all of the thoughts and sensations (objects) are arising. I see the space in me as well as the objects in me. I also see all of the objects and space outside of me. It all seems very real.

Driving on, it dawns on me that everything that I see outside of me arises within me as a thought - including space. Just a thought. The thoughts-sensations seem real as does the space within me in which they all float.Outside seems to have disappeared.

Now, while driving, it occurs to me (?) that even the saying "I" or "me" is itself a thought. No objects exist outside of the car and it is beginning to look like nothing exists inside of the car, either - including the car. Gulp. The thought of me is a thought arising within me which is another thought arising within...? Inside and Outside are both recognized as concepts that no longer seem to refer to anything. Something recognizes that space in the body is another concept as well as the body itself...and what is aware of it? Nothing seems real.

Everything has disappeared. No trees or beetles or worms or clouds or corn or dust or breeze or ditch water or cars or little kids with sticky fingers and scraped knees; no dogs, no up, no down, no inside, no outside, no thought, no sensation, no me, no you, no body, no realization, no need of realization...nothing. Not even nothing.

An intersection appears, a foot pushes on a pedal that slows the car. Both directions - left and right - appear as well as corn and soy beans, bullfrogs grump at a pond in the distance. A dog barks from a barn down the road. Red-orange light in the sky staining the bottom of narrow clouds. A rusty corn bin creaks ahead. Ash from a cigar held by two fingers floats to the floor. Pain in the lower back. Sweat in the ear. Butter-yellow moths dart across the road. The foot, the hands, the corn, the flies, the dog, the thoughts, the frogs, sweat on the ear, the breeze, the ditch water, the car, the clouds, the purple-blue-orange-red sky - all drive on to get bird seed from the hardware store. The birds will be hungry in the morning.

Just a Moment - Please.

Please stop trying to find anything more, at least, for this moment.

Through the open window
a soft, warm, wet breeze smells green of wood, moss, decay.

A cricket chirps.

A television in the distance.

Rain water drips from a sycamore leaf.

Thoughts, smells, sounds come and go.

No work or practice or technique is necessary
for this-now-here is-ing.
.
Just listen

and rest,

slowly

simply

quietly.


Nothing much, yet, everything.

Even Simpler

All that is ever happening is this:

Thoughts and Sensations (seeing, smelling, hearing, touching, tasting) arise within Awareness (what we refer to as emotion is a combination of thought and sensation).

All thoughts and sensations change constantly; awareness of the changing thoughts and sensations remains regardless of change. Awareness of changing thoughts and sensations (or awareness of not being aware of changing thoughts and sensations), includes awareness of the thought "I". 

There is no time in which this Awareness has not been present. If you think that is not true, find it now.

You are Awareness.

Don't take my word for it. Find whether or not this is true in your direct experience.

Now, what problem is there?

Simple

Your default setting is wisdom and peace.

The only thing that ever covers over your experience of spaciousness and peace, in any moment, is believed thought.

You don't need to do anything to become what you already are. It is only thinking that suggests otherwise. Don't believe it. Just leave it alone. It will pass.

Love is what we all are. Not the feeling we call love (though that may come and go), but Love as the space that allows everything to be as it is. There really is no choice in the matter.

Just rest - right now. Don't trust the thinking - the story - that suggests there is something more to do. That story (believed) is the very thing that keeps you (seemingly) caught.

Just stop. Leave everything alone. Leave all thinking alone - no matter how horrendous or sublime. All thoughts are leaves blowing in the wind - no matter how beautiful, they are already dead.

Rest and realize you are the alive space-awareness that is the Knowing of all of this at this very moment.

And, when in doubt, rest some more.

Bad News: You Will Not Wake Up Tomorrow...Good News: You Will Not Wake Up Tomorrow

You will not wake up tomorrow. Sorry and congratulations.

First, of course, there is no "you" to be awake. I don't want to belabor this because I know everyone talks about this and many have described it far better than I. However, because it is so important (important in the sense that, once seen, you'll stop reading all of these blogs and books and finally take the time to fix that screen door that you've neglected for the past few years!), allow me to add my own pointing, such as it is, anyway.

This idea of ourselves that we typically refer to as "me, mine, I, etc." is just that - an idea. By "idea," I mean it is a thought that occurs only in a moment and then is gone. It reappears hundreds of millions of times, but it still only occurs in a moment. Read that again. The "I," the "me," the "myself," is just a thought that occurs at an instant and then dissolves as easily and as effortlessly and as unintentionally as it appeared.

Any argument against this is just more thinking, more ideas occurring moment-by-moment; now, here in this instant; now gone. Whatever thought is occurring in this moment is no different than the thought of "I, me, mine." What you are reading now is just thought, more ideas arising in this moment. Now here. Now gone.

Any thought, any idea can point us back to seeing this impermanence arising and dissolving right now. We just need to stop long enough to see it happen. It is not hidden. Or, if it is, it is hidden in plain sight. We are usually so mesmerized by thought that we don't notice the obviousness and effervescence of seeing now. It is only another idea that tells us that we don't yet see. See?

However, back to the point of this note. What has really struck me about all of this lately is the "momentary-ness" of seeing. We can't see tomorrow (of course, there is really no "tomorrow" either, but let's not go there for now!). We can't wake up tomorrow. Awareness/Seeing is only available now...and now...and now...

Everything is always just this moment. There is no such thing as as "your life" or "my life" - there is just livingness in this moment.

This is the good news. We can stop the work to wake up tomorrow. It won't happen. It is utterly and completely futile to live as though it will. It is a fool's errand. Waking up tomorrow is a mirage. But now, see this! This is it! Rest here, now.

There never has been and there never will be another opportunity to recognize the Seeing/Awaring that is here now other than in this moment. Forget what your thinking is telling you right now. Forget it! Leave it alone. Whatever thought is telling you, leave it alone! You are already home. Seeing/Awakeness is what you are. Don't buy anything else thought attempts to sell you. Just rest in this instant and see.